


While You Wait

by Vizkopa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Sexual References, Slight Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:16:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7290034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vizkopa/pseuds/Vizkopa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Do you really think that what we have isn’t already a mess? Sure, we try to set rules, erect boundaries, but did you really think we could just stay in that state forever? Something was bound to give.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	While You Wait

How the two of you came to agree on this arrangement, you couldn’t rightly say. You’d both been lonely and desperate that night, with some fine whiskey playing more than a small part in what transpired. Life in the underground was harsh with pleasures few and far between. That’s how you justified yourself when you found your back against the wall with Levi’s hand pressed against your mouth to stifle your moans. He took his pleasure and you took yours, hushed and frantic while Farlan and Isabel slept on in the next room.

If it had just been one night, you could have forgiven yourself. Everyone slipped up every once in a while, and Levi was far from the worst you could have done. But after the second night—heated and desperate, just like the first—it became clear that it was something you both needed.

“First rule: no kissing. Not on the lips.” you said, voice hushed so as not to disturb the others as they slept. “It’s too intimate.”

He nodded. “Agreed.” 

“Biting is acceptable though.”

His eyes flickered to you momentarily before returning to his hands as they busied themselves with his manoeuvre gear, his breath slightly irregular. You knew he was thinking about the previous night and the marks that littered his skin just beneath the line of his shirt collar, and the ones mirrored on your own. You smirked to yourself. You liked that you could have that effect on him.

He cleared his throat. “Alright. Anything else is fair game. But no marks where anyone else can see.”

You nodded again. “Second rule: no sleeping over. Too many questions if we’re caught leaving in the morning.”

“Naturally.”

“Third rule: no developing feelings.”

His eyes returned to you. “Are you worried about that, [Name]?”

You shrugged. “Not particularly. But we should account for it all the same. In case things get messy.” You smirked. “And we all know how much you hate mess, Levi.”

He shot you glare. “Alright, agreed. We keep this as clean as possible. No strings attached.”

“What we’re proposing is far from clean,” you chuckled.

Another glare. He ignored your comment and continued. “I don’t think it needs to be said that we keep this between us.”

“Of course.”

“Then I believe we’re done talking.”

That was the extent of your verbal communication that night, and every night to follow. Besides a few choice words, of course, uttered in hushed, breathless tones. 

“Harder.” 

“Faster.” 

“ _Please!_.”

It became almost ritual—the way you sought each other out. It would begin with a glance over the table at dinner, a subtle motion of the head in the direction of his bedroom, and would end in laboured breaths mingling in the air. Those moments after sex, when the two of you were too exhausted to care about rules and boundaries, and would simply lay side by side in the tiny single bed while you caught your breath, they were the closest thing to intimacy you shared.

It wasn’t long until you started craving something more. Something you knew Levi could never give you.

Farlan was everything you could have wanted. Strong, warm and kind, he always knew exactly what to say to make the best of any situation. It took you a long time to admit to yourself that you had fallen for him, and even longer to realise that he seemed to reciprocate those affections. You could hear it in the way his voice brightened when he greeted you good morning, and in the way his tone grew soft when he bid you goodnight, as if he wished the words to be meant for you alone.

You didn’t know what to do. In your past, prostitution had been all you’d known. You dealt in pleasure, not love. Even though those days were long behind you, it was hard not to fall into old habits, just as you had with Levi. What you had with Levi was safe, familiar. What you could have with Farlan was unknown territory for you. And it terrified you.

One night, you listened carefully at your door before easing it open just enough for you to slip through and into the kitchen. Levi’s door stood directly across from yours. There was no light seeping out beneath the crack, but you knew he was there waiting for you, just beyond in the darkness. You remembered the discreet glance he had given you before he retired for the night, piercing and dark with lust. He had probably already started without you, and you imagined his hair falling across his forehead, eyes shut tight and breath quickening as he palmed himself. Just the thought of it spurred you onward.

Your bare feet made barely any noise on the wooden floor as you made you way across the kitchen, but he heard you all the same.

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

You froze. Farlan sat on the front steps, the front door thrown wide to catch some semblance of a breeze. It was wishful thinking, really. The closest any of you had felt to a breeze was the stale underground air whipping past your face as you soared amongst the stalactites on steel wires.

Farlan didn’t wait for a reply. He patted the spot next to him. “Come join me for a minute.”

You couldn’t refuse. You glanced briefly at Levi’s closed door, sending him a silent apology before padding over to Farlan and perching yourself on the step beside him. Your arm brushed his briefly as you adjusted, but he made no move to pull away. In fact, you could have sworn he moved even closer, enough so that you could feel the heat radiating from his skin. You were grateful for the darkness hiding the colour in your cheeks.

Together you gazed out over the city in silence. You had no doubt that if it had been a city on the surface, it would have been breathtaking. As it was, it was only dull and cold—a cesspool of crime and sickness and despair. 

You sighed. “I hate this place.”

Farlan glanced at you. “Well make it to the surface, [Name]. I can promise you that.”

“Can you?”

He turned to meet your gaze. “Yes. We have to.”

It was strange. He’d said it with such conviction, such surety, that you couldn’t help but believe him. He reached out and caressed your cheek lightly, and you jolted at his touch.

“I bet you look even more beautiful in the sunlight,” he said wistfully, almost as if he hadn’t meant to say it aloud.

_And I bet the sun doesn’t even compare to you,_ you wanted to say. But you didn’t.

Even when he kissed you—light and sweet, and over all too soon for your liking—you could not bring yourself to tell him how you felt.

“It’s alright,” he said. “I can wait until you’re ready.”

You hadn’t even needed to say a word. Finally, someone who understood.

“You should get some sleep.”

You shook your head, all thoughts of Levi now gone. “I want to stay just a little longer.”

Farlan smiled softly. “I’d like that.”

You had not intended to fall asleep right there on the steps, Farlan’s arm wrapped hesitantly around your shoulders for support and your head nestled in the crook of his neck. But when you woke up, it was in your own bed, alone, and the sheets beside you cold and empty as usual.

Levi’s eyes never left you all day. It was if he was waiting for you to explain yourself. You were glad you were kept busy all day, because you didn’t _have_ an explanation for him.

That night, Farlan waited for you on the steps again. You couldn’t bring yourself to join him. After last night it all suddenly become so real and you weren’t sure you were ready to face him just yet. Instead, you waited until he gave up and, with a heavy sigh that broke your heart, returned to his room. You waited until the firelight beneath his door grew dark before slipping out into the darkened kitchen and rapped lightly on Levi’s door.

The moment he opened it you were upon him, your mouth at his throat, tongue lapping hungrily at the skin as you pressed him against a wall. He let out a surprised groan, his head tilting back automatically to grant you more access to the sensitive flesh.

“We didn’t have an arrangement tonight.”

“I need you.”

“Where were you last night?”

“I fell asleep.” You began hastily unbuttoning his shirt, thrilling in the way his chest shuddered at the touch of your fingers.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“The truth doesn’t matter.”

“I saw you with him.”

You paused for just a beat, before continuing to undress him. You unbuckled his belt, then began work on his pants. You heard his breath catch in his throat as you stroked him, coaxing him to grow hard beneath your insistent hand, but you didn’t get any further.

A deep groan rumbled through his chest. “[Name]!” He caught your wrists between his hands and pulled them away from him, his hold tight. “You can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“He’s in love with you.”

“I know.”

“And you’re in love with him.”

“I know that too.”

“Then why are you here right now?”

“Because I’m scared.”

He looked at your for a long moment and then scowled. “Tch. You’re an idiot.” He released your wrists and you let your arms fall limp at your sides.

You shook your head. “This… _thing_ we have. It’s easier than love, Levi. Less messy. You of all people should understand that.”

“Do you really think that what we have isn’t already a mess? Sure, we try to set rules, erect boundaries, but did you really think we could just stay in that state forever? Something was bound to give.”

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying things just got _complicated_ , [Name]. You use me to hide from your feelings for Farlan, and I let you do it because it’s the closest thing I’ll get to you reciprocating what I feel for you.”

You froze. Had you just heard him right? “Did you just…?”

His steel blue gaze bored into you. “You heard me, [Name]. I broke the rules. And I’m about to break another one.”

Before you could catch on to what he was planning, he took your face in his hands and kissed you, manoeuvring your body around until it was you who was pressed against the wall. His mouth was gentle, but you could tell by the way his lips shuddered that he was holding back. His tongue darted out to taste your lips and you automatically parted them for him, still in a daze.  

Just as you were beginning to enjoy it, he broke away. He gently caressed your cheek with his thumbs as he searched your eyes, a slight frown on his face,

“Now you know. It’s your choice as to what happens next.”

You were speechless. There was nowhere left for you to turn, no easy option to take. Levi was forcing you to face your feelings one way or another. His confession had rocked you to the core. Your carefully constructed walls were crumbling, and you could either rebuild them and hope to god they kept the titans out, or you could let them come crashing down and face your fears.

“What will it be?”

“Levi…” You could feel your lips trembling, could see the ways his eyes were drawn to them and the scowl on his face deepen. “I’m sorry.”

“I thought so.” He let go of your face, letting his arms drop in defeat and stepped away, his eyes averted. “Go, before I make a fool of myself and beg you to stay.”

You didn’t need to be told twice.

You ran from the room and in no time at all you were at Farlan’s door. You drew a deep breath and knocked. The sound was unnaturally loud in the still night air, but nothing could compare to the sound of your beating heart. You heard shuffling footsteps and the door creaked open to reveal Farlan, mouth still open in the aftermath of a yawn and his hair mussed from sleep.

“I’m not too late am I?”

He was suddenly wide awake, a soft smile spreading across his features. “Not at all,” he said. “I told you I’d wait, didn’t I?”

“We’ve both waited long enough, don’t you think?”

“I couldn’t agree more.”


End file.
